i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
