two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
