She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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