i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
