btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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