No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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