I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
