Betty ford says i'm here all night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
