I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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