Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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