Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Holy shit dude........stairs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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