you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize