I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
