party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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