Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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