If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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