Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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