new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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