No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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