what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
