Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
