I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugly people sure do ruin things
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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