**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
