READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
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you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
FUCK WHALES
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize