He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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