Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
