just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
