marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I died a long time ago.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
40s are totally the cure
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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