but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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