people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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