You smell like stripper and shame
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My breasts were aching with rage.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
