if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
