That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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