Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
two words...techno handjob
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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