Whod you bang
plz talk dirty to me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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