I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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