Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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