the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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