what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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