i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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