i permit you to call me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
