separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
