in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
