you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
