so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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