Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
