I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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