i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
