Screwed.edu
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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