And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize