i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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