Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
