I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize