i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
