my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize