I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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