dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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