Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
