My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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